The Power of Change

Change is one of the world's most terrifying and concurrently inevitable phenomena. It occurs in all aspects of life, concrete or abstract, and spans the entire globe in all walks of life. Despite its extreme abundance, a huge portion of the world fears change more than anything else, for it is all-encompassing. But the inevitability of change needs to be embraced before any growth can happen, and the world can advance as it always has. The need for change is a major theme in Chris Magadza's poem "Old Tree," and it is a wonderful poem indeed. It's simple and short, yet complex and weighted at the same time. I am very happy I chose this poem to analyze in detail, and it was a very good way to transition myself from the world of facts to the world of poetry, with all its intricacies and perplexities. This is because it is very historically relevant, and the historical knowledge is pivotal to the underlying meaning that can only be seen once the literal has been left behind.

The history of his country is especially inherent in Magadza's poetry. Magadza is from Zimbabwe, but when he was born in 1939, his country went by the name of Rhodesia, after the famous (or infamous) British explorer and colonizer Cecil Rhodes. The British influence in Rhodesia was tremendous, and occupied the lives of every inhabitant of South Central Africa, foreign and domestic. The indigenous Africans, who had been free for thousands of years, were oppressed and discriminated based on convoluted European ideas of Western superiority. But as the ideas of the world (freedom, natural rights, equality, nationalism) spread to every corner of the world and took ample hold, the self-aware took arms against the British. In Magadza's case, this was through poetry. I looked at "Old Tree" through a historical lens, and analyzed it accordingly. "You who heard/The savage angry cry/Of angel turned brute" (Magadza 30-32). These lines entail the majesty of life and angelic manner of humans that is corrupted by greed and false claims of innate superiority. This was exemplified very well during the Scramble for Africa, and Magadza witnessed all the repercussions of this unwanted colonialism first- or maybe second-hand. One of the most hard-hitting excerpts of the poem is: "Seen the slaughter of/Father by son,/The rape of sister by brother,/The innocence of infancy/starve to laughing demon" (Magadza 33-37). This is packed with juicy references, metaphors, and analogies, and so must be broken down slowly and meticulously. The slaughter of father by son and the rape of sister by brother are both pretty horrible occurrences. This is exactly the point, of course, as this would be totally immoral under any circumstances. Magadza tries to get across the message of equality here, and puts Africans on the same level through these lines. Humans are all family. Fathers, brothers, sons, and sisters, no matter what race, are the same, and should be treated equally because of it. Instead, Magadza's country is in political turmoil and it is completely under the thumb of the British superpower. Continuing, the innocence of infancy is starving while a demon laughs. As Africa had been free for such a long time, they did not adopt the West's innovations as rapidly. These lines could allude to the new weapons brought in by the British that serve as the impetus for more fighting and death. Britain is the laughing demon, then, and it is then clear to see how Magadaza, and most Africans felt about the occupation by the British of their homeland.

To say the least I learned a lot during my research of this poem. I learned among many other things how to really break down a complex poem and scrutinize it for all I'm worth. Poetry can be so intricate, so beautiful, so befuddling, and so it behooves me very much to be able to break it down and decipher all the miscellaneous and elusive themes, symbols, and meanings. Another testament to the everlasting nature of change, my views of this poem deviate greatly from start to finish, as I learned more and more about the poem, its author, and the circumstances under which it was written. For example, when I first
read the lines mentioned before, "Seen the slaughter of/Father by son,/The rape of sister by brother,/The innocence of infancy/starve to laughing demon" (Magadza 33-37), I thought of conflicts within Zimbabwe, as I really, ashamedly, had the notion that Africans were always fighting with each other, incapable of "civilizing their societies like the West has. But I learned that Magadza is a very learned man with a PhD in ecology while he still manages to analyze the conflicts with the world and especially in his home country. This disproved my original theory and I revised it as I continued with my research. Another change in analysis was with the title figure, the Old Tree. The first time I read the poem, I paid very little attention to the tree itself, even though it is the title. My mom in our interview even said, "What is the significance of the Old Tree?" This definitely needs some deep thought and we just weren't there yet. After more time spent with the poem, a couple lines jumped out. "Old tree/ Giant towering/ above the forest" (Magadza 1-3). The tree became a deity after pondering these lines. It is the omniscient being that sees everything from its lofty position, above the forest. Unfortunately, it can't do anything to stop some of the terrible things that is happening, except offer hope. "And every blessing summer/ Adorned in new blossom / More life / You bring on earth" (Magadza 44-47). My first impression was that this speaks to the everlasting nature of his African culture by expressing how the tree has remained standing through all of this, and will continue to stand forever. But after further analysis, my understanding of the tree was taken even further. I grew to think that these lines also go with the dogma, Life finds a way. Life finds a way to survive in "Old Tree," and every summer more blossoms, more hope, bloom and flourish. Magadza's countrymen are life, and they will find a way, and they will keep coming back with new hope, until they get what is right. This is very powerful to me and this struggle with oppression speaks to me in a way only poetry can.

This process of finding, reading, working, and finally understanding was a fruitful one. All the steps I went through to try to reach that last step of understanding helped me greatly. To understand this poem, one would need to have all the pieces together, and I believe I rounded them all up during this project. The background knowledge was pivotal in this situation, and changed my view of the poem greatly. Overall, it was about the need for equality between races, which does not mean colonizing in places against the native people's wishes. After several readings and rereadings, it was very helpful to get a second opinion, and this was accomplished through the interview portion. Having a second opinion helps very much, as there is no correct way to interpret a poem. This allowed me to synthesize my thoughts with another's and raise my understanding of the poem to new heights. On a broader scale, I learned how to interpret and understand poetry altogether. This process can be applied to almost any poem, so long as there is plenty of time to undergo it, as the process does indeed take time. I now feel enormously more confident when it comes to understanding poetry and this will stay with me for all of my foreseeable future.

The theme of my research and this poem is change, as it has been made clear now. As I went through the project, my views changed, my ideas changed, my confidence transformed, and my mind expanded its horizons with ever-more knowledge. "Old Tree" is a wonderful and beautiful poem largely about the need for change, and how it will eventually happen. It showed me the persistence of life to overcome its boundaries. For example, the blossoms in the poem have much more meaning to Africans than is stated in the poem. Zimbabwe is located in "the bush" climate zone of Africa, and here, the soil has a nutrient deficiency and there is not much rain to sustain growth. Yet the African daisy still grows, and its colors are so vibrant that they light up the entire, gray-and-brown region. This poem has taught me resilience, perseverance, and confidence, and it has enlightened me in a way only poetry can. There is no description that accurately describes the effect of poetry on its readers. It is spiritual. The words, mood, rhythm all evoke certain emotions that are not felt through simple prose or conversation. It is a special feeing and poetry, understanding poetry, brings it on. Through this project I, albeit having run into some brick walls of befuddlement early on,  have learned to adequately understand a complex poem and I will take this skill through my entire life.

"Genuine poetry can communicate before it's understood" -- T.S. Eliot

"To read a poem is to hear it with our eyes; to hear it is to se it with our ears" -- Octavio Paz

Interview with Sheri Wright: Fearless Mother of Two

I walk into my mother's welcoming office. It is warmer than the rest of the house, as always, due to her space heater turned on throughout the day. Her large, leather chair is set up facing the couch, with a small table in between, and her reading glasses are already on. She looks up with an anxious look on her face, reaching her hand out to receive my chosen poem. Once it is safely in her hand, along with a pencil for note-taking, Sheri turns into studious mode, and doesn't look up until she has finished Chris Magadza's "Old Tree."

My mother is very determined when she gets a task. She will devote herself entirely to it, a trait I admire very much. As she is reading Magadza's poem, I study her face for any cues that might allow me to enter her thoughts. At one point her nose scrunched and her brow furrowed, probably at the lines of the fourth stanza, which illustrate ominous and dark scenes; another time she grinned in peaceful resolve, undoubtedly caused by the concluding lines of "Old Tree," which offer hope for the future along with some beautiful wordsmithery. She nodded throughout, showing understanding of the insightful words authored. She also, after a first run through, went back to catch missing themes or imagery that she did not pick out the first time. Her pencil was jotting in the margins as she went, making sure she would not forget anything she analyzed, and she sipped her coffee intermittently, feeling the warm mug and allowing the heat to flow into her hands. Once her head rose, primed for discussion, we continued.

Chris Magadza is heavily influenced by his ancestry and the history of his country Zimbabwe. My mom did not know this going into the interview, and it showed to be very helpful indeed. When asked what she thinks of the poem, my mother automatically went to the thought of an enduring life, that can endure terrible things, like "the slaughter of/ father by son, / the rape of sister by brother." But she also said that this was only within Zimbabwe, and although she does not know much about Zimbabwe, assumed there was some conflict between ethnic groups or the like. Once I explained to her the circumstances under which the poet wrote this work, her viewpoint changed. She then revisited the specific verbiage and thought that it was the Africans, or Zimbabweans,  that were being abused, as well as the nature of their lands (brought into the poem because of Magadza's ecology degrees) by the British. She went on to explain that the words "father, son, sister, and brother" were pleas to the West, that Africans are the same species, and deserve to be treated as such. This was interesting to see because this is very similar to the thought process I went though myself. Before I knew the background, I didn't think of the British usurping the Africans' power had much of anything to do with it. With this worked out, my mother's face was much brighter all of a sudden, and it seemed as if he learned for more understanding and more analysis. So, we went on.

We were drawn to the first two stanzas because they seem to carry a lot of weight, even though it is in so few words. The stanzas say: "Old tree / Giant towering / above the forest; / You / Who saw the rise / Of ancient suns, / The fall of principalities, / The ageing of creation." While my mom thought about the majesty of nature, I thought about a deity being exemplified through the tree. This contrast in idea was very interesting to me, as it showed me there are many different perspectives one could take when reading this poem. We both liked the ending, and thought it provided hope for the future of Africa, and Zimbabwe. Nature always cycles through again, bringing new blossoms, replacing the ones that perished in previous times. It is also endless, watching over everything with "Timeless majesty."

I enjoyed this interview with my mom. It allowed us to discuss on an intellectual level a piece of literature. We would never normally do this, and so it was really fun to see my mom's thought process and point of view on certain things, that can be the same or different than mine.

Magadza Research

Christopher Magadza's life story is a pretty inspiring one. His rise from a poor farm boy to acclaimed ecologist is anything but probable. He was born in Burma Valley, in Manicaland, Zimbabwe in 1939. His family served as laborers on this farm, not even owners. Magadza, despite his humble beginnings, went on to be accepted into both St. Augustine's Mission, and Fletcher High secondary school, both prestigious institutions. This was mostly through self-teaching and dedication. He went on to the University of Rhodesia where he received his Bachelor's and Master's degree, and achieved his PhD in Auckland, New Zealand. He became a limnologist, one who studies the biological, chemical, and physical characteristics of lakes, and quickly returned to Zimbabwe to work. He established himself as a ecologist and moved on to co-found both the African Academy of Sciences and the Zimbabwe Academy of Sciences. Throughout his life, his work, specifically with nature, and the residue of British imperialism combine to form his major themes in his poetry. He lived through Zimbabwe's independence and renaming (South Rhodesia), and has many thoughts on how the British altered their ancestors' way of life. In later life, Magadza moved to teaching, and became a professor at his alma mater, the university of Zimbabwe. He is now retired and continues to write poetry, though keeps most of it for himself and his family.

When researching Chris Magadza's poetry, certain themes are bound to spring up. These themes are closely related to the history of Zimbabwe and its strides toward independence from Britain that just came to fruition in 1923. Many colonies of European imperialism view now show a disdain for European influence. This is a theme in Magadza's poem "Old Tree." Immediately, Magadza idealizes the tree as a deity and goes from there. He explains how it has endured for a very long time and has witnessed both the pre-imperial aspect of life and the decolonization efforts, and everything in between. Magadza, born in Zimbabwe, still reeling from the effects of being a British colony called Rhodesia, has seen the difference the British made, and reacts through his poetry in a generally bad way, but still sees hope, as in the last few lines of "Old Tree."

The Journey Through Experience

The search for knowledge is an age-old pastime of humans. They are constantly advancing into and out of higher levels in all subjects. This does not only include intellectual material, but the philosophical and spiritual as well. In fact, some prize the spiritual understanding of the world to be the utmost achievement in any one life. The Buddhist goal of existence is to reach this level of understanding and push out of the cycle of reincarnation. This coincides with the wave of modernism, some two millennia later, by focusing much more on the self than in previous generations. The spiritual journey needs to be isolated from the world, and given space for free thinking, and the modernist writers picked up on this since they focused on deviating from the "great machine" of society that everyone is pulled into. With this modernist theory affirmed by Buddhism, Hermann Hesse conceived Siddhartha, a story of a spiritually insatiable person who travels all over India, learning an enormous amount of material. Siddhartha is constantly searching for new aspects of life to study and master, especially the path to the expulsion of the Self, and Enlightenment. Ironically, however, it is this striving to achieve that is the largest detriment to his cause. Although the desire for new information is good, one cannot reach the utmost level of spirituality unless they throw off this desire, and let the information come in organically.

Siddhartha is a very gifted student, in everything he does. For example, he learns all the teachings his father has for him and needs more. "He had begun to suspect that his venerable father and his other teachers, all wise Brahmins, had already given him the richest and best part of their wisdom, had already poured their plenty into his waiting vessel, yet the vessel was not full" (Hesse 5). He is not contented with what he has learned. Like a child, he always wants what he does not have, but once he has it, it becomes worthless. This immaturity is also a central theme in Siddhartha's journey, as his arrogance gets him nowhere toward his ultimate goal. Among the Samanas, Siddhartha spends many years mastering their craft, learning how not to need anything. After a while, though, he grows annoyed at the nonexistent fruit this practice has bore, and questions another time the validity of his teachers. "'...I have little faith in words that come to us from teachers. But be that as it may, dear friend, I am prepared to hear these teachings, though in my heart I believe we have already tasted their finest fruit'" (Hesse 20). He has learned for years under the Samanas, yet does not believe he is getting enough. Just as arrogant as before, he abandons the Samanas for the Buddha, the only success story in many Hindus' strife. This ends unfruitful as well, and Siddhartha is left with a number of different teachers, from whom he has learned a lot, but that have not helped him in reaching his goal, so he decides to swear off teachers, and to learn from himself alone. As a last resort for seeking new knowledge, Siddhartha declares to be rid of teachers and doctrine. "I'll be my own teacher, my own pupil, I'll study myself, learn the secret that is Siddhartha" (Hesse 35). This is a particularly childish declaration, as completely swearing off something shows stubbornness and also cuts one off from a source of knowledge. He should be open to everyone and everything, but instead swears off teachers and decides to learn from himself, which has huge ramifications. Just the idea of this goes against his core beliefs. To get rid of the Self, Siddhartha should not embrace it and learn from it, but rid himself of ego. This is completely unseen by the main character and exemplifies his blind search for knowledge based on arrogance and immaturity.

The most obvious example of how Siddhartha's search for knowledge hurts his cause is his time with Kamala and the "child people." This chapter in Siddhartha's life does make room for additional knowledge, and the mastering of a new craft, love, but ultimately leads Siddhartha into despair and sorrow. He is introduced to the child people and immediately lust springs as his new test, a test that was not overcome. "'...Kamala, I would like to ask you to be my friend and teacher, for I know nothing of the art of which you are the master'" (Hesse 48). Wanting to learn from the child people is a huge indicator that Siddhartha is off his path. He had been committed to celibacy for his whole life but now is quickly wrapped up in the intricacies of love. He quickly, then, throws off his trappings of a Samana, and begins to become one of the child people, and likes it. "Simple is the life one leads here in the world, Siddhartha thought. There are no difficulties. Everything was difficult, laborious, and in the end hopeless when I was still a Samana" (Hesse 52). Siddhartha now forgets that there was a reason for his laborious endeavors as a Samana. He would now rather live an easy life and achieve very little than work hard and achieve enlightenment. He had previously scoffed at all people of the city, and gagged at lavish clothes and perfumes, but now he embraces it with open arms after his search for knowledge has been proven inconsequential. He spends many years living with the worldly, but stays a Samana at the core for a long time. Only slowly, and over the course of many years did his touch with spirituality ebb and fade away. He becomes a rich man, but without need he grows sorrowful, and colors lose their vivacity, life loses its allure. "The world had captured him: voluptuousness, lust, lethargy, and in the end even greed, the vice he'd always thought the most foolish and had despised and scorned above all others. Property, ownership, and riches had captured him in the end. No longer were they just games to him, trifles; they  had become chains and burdens" (Hesse 67). He is a child person now, and what he had looked down on and had just entered to gain more knowledge has become him. Knowing that there is in fact more to life, though, Siddhartha grows to disdain his life as a child person. He has learned the games of business and lavish living and now it is plain and unfulfilling. This leads to his abyss and hatred for himself, which is finally the exemplification of Siddhartha's maturation. This suffering is a necessary step along his journey and such is life. Life is full of hardships and suffering, but it all has a purpose, even if that purpose is not apparent yet. Siddhartha is passing through another threshold, and getting back on his path to enlightenment.

An extremely effective method of showing how the active search for knowledge does not succeed in finding enlightenment is by showing how enlightenment is actually achieved. Siddhartha does gain this level of spirituality in the end, and shows in itself the folly of his early practices. The first stepping stone to his achievement is in the very bottom of his abyss, wanting to throw himself into the river and die. This sets him on the right path, though, and makes him all the better for it. "Feeling profound weariness, he released his arm from around the tree trunk and rotated his body a little so as to let himself fall vertically, sink at last into the depths. With closed eyes, he sank toward death" (Hesse 74). This is Siddhartha's first step toward enlightenment because it is the first time he is letting himself be at the whims of nature. He is no longer trying to use it for knowledge, or riches, he is letting himself go. So it is no surprise that he is immediately rewarded for this. He hears Om, and then he had knowledge of Brahman, had knowledge of the indestructibility of life, had knowledge of all things divine that he had forgotten (Hesse 75). Once Siddhartha meets Vasudeva and becomes a ferryman alongside him, he is a completely new person, yet again. He reaches ever closer to Enlightenment and a big part of that is being passive. He does not search for knowledge, he simply listens. "But even more than Vasudeva could teach him, he learned from the river, which taught him unceasingly. Above all, it taught him how to listen -- how to listen with a quiet heart and a waiting, open soul, without passion, without desire, without judgement, without opinion" (Hesse 90). His soul is waiting and open, in stark contrast to his previous outlook of gaining knowledge. He is open to all things, open to the doctrine of the water, the teachings of Vasudeva. Nothing is holding him back now from Enlightenment. All he has to do is wait. Siddhartha does indeed achieve Enlightenment shortly after Vasudeva does and leaves the river behind. His last act is to pass his gift onto Govinda, his kindred spirit, his soulmate. "Time is not real Govinda... No, in this sinner the future Buddha already exists-- now, today--all his future is already there" (Hesse 119-120). Siddhartha is saying that there is no time that is left waiting in between two stations of life. They are there in the present and always. Applying this to learning, it would be folly to seek knowledge actively, as Siddhartha once did, for the knowledge is already inside everybody. The enlightenment is just waiting to emerge. Siddhartha learned from the river to wait, and let the Buddha come out from within, not in from without. Everything is internal. The quote from David Foster Wallace's Laughing with Kafka immediately comes to mind: "You can ask them to imagine his art as a kind of door, that we approach and pound on this door, seeking admission desperate to enter, we pound and pound…finally, the door opens...and it opens outward: we've been inside what we wanted all along." Humans externalize everything when it really should be the opposite.

It takes Siddhartha a lifetime to realize that seeking information is not the right approach to gain Eternal wisdom, but all of this may well have been necessary. The process of maturation that Siddhartha endures was crucial to the learning process. Even Siddhartha says, "...I sorely needed sin, needed concupiscence, needed greed, vanity, and the most shameful despair to learn to stop resisting..." (Hesse 120). He needed to gain experience before all else. This suffering and deviation from his central goal only made him mature and wise. Wisdom is impossible to teach. It can only be gained through experience, just as Siddhartha was explaining to Govinda at the end of the novel. This maturation of Siddhartha shows that one cannot actively seek out Enlightenment and achieve it too. Siddhartha spent his entire youth seeking, and that set his journey back many decades, but Enlightenment is worth it. It is worth a lifetime of disappointment, sorrow, pain, and suffering. It is a goal that everybody, not just Buddhist, or Indians, has probably thought of at some point. But only a very select few can even come close to comprehending on this level, and thus its allure is so great.

Old Tree by Chris Magadza (Zimbabwe)

Old Tree

Old tree

Giant towering

Above the forest;

You

who saw the rise

Of ancient suns,

The fall of principalities,

The ageing of creation;

You

Who drank the drought

And bathed in mists

Of thousand winters

Cold;

You who heard

The rapture of mountains,

The breach of seas

And the angry thunder

Of broken waters

Icy;

Silent,

Timeless

In ageless majesty,

Sleepless guardian

Of mysteries old;

You

Whose confiding silence

Heard plotters

Whisper conspiracy

On your night probing branches;

You who heard

The savage angry cry

Of angel turned brute,

Seen the slaughter of

Father by son,

The rape of sister by brother,

The innocence of infancy

Starve to laughing demon;

Yet,

Every morning

A new orient bride

You kiss,

And sip the ancient nectars

from the earth's hidden veins;

and every blessing summer

Adorned in new blossom

More life

You bring on earth.

BP #34: Siddhartha Reflection

Hermann Hesse does an incredible job of reaching the readers on a spiritual level through his words. It is quite amazing, because these are just words. Words cannot match or begin to explain the emotions, can they? Even Siddhartha says in the book, that words are not as real. He says the emotions are falsified a bit the instant they are spoken (Hesse 121). This makes Hesse's writing very interesting, and enchanting. He makes the non-spirituals feel as if they were spiritual, only as long as they are captive to his words. Philosophy is so hard to materialize in writing that few are even taken seriously. Luckily, Siddhartha is a successful tale of the spiritual journey. And this journey is the same one as many other stories, and the same as the one defined by Joseph Campbell. Siddhartha is on a hero's journey just as Campbell  described it. For example, he has a very distinguishable abyss when he realizes he hasn't been living his life as he is supposed to. "All that was left for him to do was annihilate himself, smash to pieced the botched structure of his life, throw it away, hurl it t the feet of the mocking gods" (Hesse 74). He wished for death, and is pushed even to let himself fall into the river to feebly die.  It is the spiritual Siddartha that resurfaces and saves him, speaking the word Om, perfection. He also has a guide and mentor in the ferryman. "Siddhartha felt what a joy it was to be able to confide in such a listener, to entrust his life, his searching, his sorrow, to this welcoming heart" (Hesse 88). Vasudeva teaches Siddhartha his craft of listening, but is always the superior listener, and help Siddhartha greatly by listening to his sorrows and his life. This leads to his enlightenment, and proves the ferryman is Siddhartha's true guide among all his teachers.

Another theme that resurfaces time and again in the second half of this novel is the fluidity of life and its relations to water and its many forms. The river is commonly mentioned, and it is no coincidence that it is a river that saves Siddhartha from his abyss. This green river was a source of life, and was a baptismal solution to the main character's problem. It is also not a coincidence that Siddhartha is told by his guide, Vasudeva, to listen more than anything to the river. "'You will learn this,' Vasudeva said, 'but not from me. It was the river that taught me to listen, and it will  teach you as well. It knows everything, the river, and one can learn anything from it'" (Hesse 89). The river teaches anything and everything and is the ultimate answer to all of Siddhartha's questions and his search for Oneness. Once Siddhartha is enlightened, he passes on this gift of knowledge to Govinda, his soul mate. " He no onger saw the face of his friend Siddhartha; instead he saw other faces, many of them, a long series, a flowing river of faces, by the hundreds, by the thousands, all of them coming and fading away, and yet all of them appearing to be there at once..." (Hesse 125). This flowing river of life is a great way to exemplify the universe in its unimaginable complexity. Everything is moving, and changing, yet it is staying the same. Everything both is, and is not. Siddhartha explains how these are both true at the same time, because its entire existence is inside the whole time. There is no time or future to show how a person or thing has changed. That change has been inside the person or thing all along. A river shows the future, past, and present, and disproves time. Hermann Hesse did a wonderful thing in this novel, and it is very emotional to the very core. I enjoyed it very much, and can only wish I had the ability to think on such a level, or to even comprehend the ideas of enlightenment.

Siddartha Chapters 1-6 Reflection

Thus far in Siddartha, it can be easily seen that Siddartha is a person of conviction. When he gets an idea, he is one-hundred percent behind it and follows it until another idea comes along. For example, one day, basically out of the blew, Siddartha decides he wants to become a Samana. He will not be deterred and waits, standing, outside his father's house all night, until he is blessed. The same goes for when he finally quits his Samana group to seek out the Buddha, and when he refuses to become one of The Sublime One's followers. All of these decisions are stemmed from his insatiable spirit. He learns the ways of many groups very quickly. So quickly, in fact, he gets bored with one thing and must move on in an attempt to find some spiritual fulfillment. This can come across as arrogant in some parts, though. For instance, Siddartha, after hearing but one of Buddha's 'teaching sessions,' he says that he has learned everything he can from the Buddha, who is the only one in the world who has actually achieved what Siddartha is seeking. But he thinks this is the wrong way to handle it, and so moves on.

Another characteristic I have observed of Siddartha is a sort of forgetfulness. He is forgetful in the way that he throws previous convictions aside in new situations. There are two prime examples of this. One is when he completely swears off of desire and the senses, but then not much later he uses his senses, and feels desire. The diction of the author makes this very noticeable, and a bit annoying, as Siddartha seems to be one who doesn't back up one's words. He becomes not credible (not incredible) because of this, in my mind. The other example, is how, right after his encounter with the Sukyamuni, he declares that he will not be dragged down by any teachers or doctrines. He will be his own teacher and pupil. Yet once he comes to the city, he actively seeks out Kamala as a teacher. Siddartha, still young and a bit childish (which Siddartha calls all normal people in the world), jumps around through conflicting ideas very often. He wants to be abnormal, more spiritual, but he is not there yet. He is a "flip-flopper" right now and needs to settle into a single goal. I predict this will happen, but it will be interesting to see what pushes him to the final stage of his journey. And once, we get there, Siddartha might be looking for a completely different thing than he is right now.

Race to Death

Fables are very simple. For this reason, they have endured throughout time and many, many have been written. All fables teach a lesson, possibly without the reader noticing at all; in that way they are profound. Now that these silly little stories have reached the modernist age of literature, authors like Franz Kafka have taken it to the next level. These modernists try to decode the nature and purpose of, not life, but living life. Kafka, following his modernist movement, wrote an existential fable that follows the life of a former person turned verminous bug. Through his Metamorphosis, Kafka explains and warns of today's society and implies ways of correcting this through self-fulfillment. Although many readers do not understand the purpose of this piece, once deciphered, Metamorphosis is simply a fable with existential lessons and warnings applied to society, written through a modernist lens.

In Kafka's modernist era, it was clear to see how mundane the lives of many had become. The dreary lifestyle focused completely on work and money had taken over. Gregor, living in the time, was the same way. His mom says, "'The young man has nothing in his head except business. I’m almost angry that he never goes out in the evening. Right now he’s been in the city eight days, but he’s been at home every evening'" (Kafka 4). This fretwork is no real way to live life. The existential phrase that goes behind this is, Everybody dies, but not everybody lives. The goal of life is not to simply to exist, but to live a meaningful life not by society's standards, but the self's. Gregor is caught in this system of social responsibilities and is content with it, even though he shouldn't be. His passiveness is evident in the story and universally disdained by most readers. "Once I’ve got together the money to pay off my parents’ debt to him—that should take another five or six years—I’ll do it for sure. Then I’ll make the big break" (Kafka 1). These years, by modernist and existential standards are being wasted away, and they are willingly wasted by an unknowing Gregor too ignorant to realize the meaninglessness of his work. Why is life merely a race to death? Humans have accomplished far too much to be stricken with an overwhelming force that tears down the dreams of the people. To be sucked into this system is normal, and can be looked down upon by a third party, but is generally accepted. The annoying issue with Gregor is that he takes on the burden of his parents' debt and entraps himself into the system willingly. His entrapment becomes so deeply rooted, he remains irrationally dedicated to the job even when he is no longer human. "If I didn’t hold back for my parents’ sake, I’d have quit ages ago. I would’ve gone to the boss and told him just what I think from the bottom of my heart" (Kafka 1). Gregor is not living life on account of his parents. The right thing to do here, Kafka is arguing, is to help yourself more than anything. Selflessness is virtuous, but taking it to the point where it infringes on one's own freedom is taking it too far. Focusing on the self is increasingly important as society requires more drones to fall in line. The ignorant ones, like Gregor, are left to simply exist, and to be at the whims of other people. 

Kafka inlays many ideas into Metamorphosis, one of them being the problem of how the self acts in modern society, as Gregor struggles with. Another is how the masses, represented by the family act in society, and many behave selfishly. Gregor's family is widely resented in this story, and understandably so. They lounge around all day, sleep in, take naps, and let Gregor pay off a debt that is theirs. They are leeches, or possibly more accurately, vampires. Vampirism is, as Thomas Foster puts it, "...exploitation in its many forms. Using other people to get what you want. Denying someone else's right to live in the face of our overwhelming demands. Placing our desires, particularly our uglier ones, above the needs of another" (Foster 21). He also says that the less obvious vampires are much more scary and dangerous than the obvious ones. This is Gregor's family. They are vampires and during the story they are sucking his blood and consequently his life right out, up until his death. Thinking of vampires in literature, they only suck to the point where their victims remain alive but infected. The vampires of human society suck and suck, always wanting more, until the resource has dried up completely. More specifically, and applying the family's vampirism again the Foster's piece, the family becomes even more awful when one thinks about the way they treat Gregor especially at the dinner table. Eating food is so basic to humans, so intimate, that it has become very important to the world. "The act of taking food into our bodies is so personal that we really only want to do it with people with we're very comfortable with" (Foster 8). The family is a collective vampire, and throughout the story they reject Gregor from the dinner table, confining him to his prison of a room, while they eat food paid for by Gregor himself. This tells especially Gregor that the family barely cares for him emotionally at all. They have lost all sense of kinship with and love for him and don't regard him as human. Moreover, the vampire that is society chooses the weak as their victims, and Gregor is the poor selfless victim being taken advantaged of and ultimately killed by his own family. "...and [Dracula] tends to focus on beautiful, unmarried women" (Foster 16). Gregor fits this profile by being alluring and beautiful with his financial upside, and he is unprotected. Nobody steps in and tries to retrieve Gregor from the depths of the societal abyss, and the same goes in the real world. It is a dog-eat-dog world, where only the strong survive. This overlaps with the existential meaning; every person has a choice to rid themselves of this and gain a respite in a more self-reflecting world.

Kafka also uses vampires and the dangers of society to create a story of dark humor. This humor is largely based on irony. Many readers do not understand the patently kafkaesque style of humor, but David Foster Wallace does, and he writes a speech, Laughing with Kafka, that tries to explain this interesting, modernist humor. "Kafka's evocations are, rather, unconscious and almost sub-archetypal, the primordial little-kid stuff from which myths derive; this is why we tend to call even his weirdest stories nightmarish rather than surreal" (Wallace 2). Wallace is saying that Kafka's stories are really basic at its core, but some can't see this because they immediately associate his writing with nightmares. Kafka's humor is hard to understand without assistance, but with it, it becomes quite simple. One of Kafka's 'jokes' is the cruel situation of Gregor trapped in his room by his family, unwelcome in the common places, like the dinner table, of the house. "Earlier, when the door had been barred, they had all wanted to come in to him; now, when he had opened one door and when the others had obviously been opened during the day, no one came any more, and now the keys were stuck in the locks on the outside" (Kafka 10). Kafka laughs at this due to its irony; Gregor trapped himself in the woes of society and now all he wants is to be released from his prison of a room, but cannot achieve this goal. He had to be morphed into a bug to escape, but only to a more tangible form of imprisonment that can be more easily understood. Another irony Kafka exposes of Gregor's life in society is his uselessness. "Often he lay there all night long, not sleeping at all, just scratching on the leather for hours at a time. Or he undertook the very difficult task of pushing a chair over to the window" (Kafka 13). As a bug, Gregor sits around all day, either sleeping or creeping around to no end goal. He just wastes time and space, essentially, and that is what he was doing in the human state, as well. Moving back to an existential standpoint, Kafka says that when one is just existing rather than living, it doesn't matter if Gregor is a person or a bug, it all is the same. One needs to live to achieve the standard of being a real person.

Kafka's Metamorphosis, after the arduous processing of decoding his hidden messages and warnings, can be seen as a much more simple piece: a fable. This fable's main goal is to expose the ills of modern society and it's uselessness when looked at from an existential standpoint. Kafka saw that the world was growing more gray and gloomy, with no glimmer of true gladness. He stresses the importance of the self and how it is indeed more important than the overwhelming vampire that is society. Joseph Campbell has warned of not following the 'machine,' the overwhelming force in life but to break free of it instead. Kafka urges his multitude of readers to do the same thing, and to not end up like Gregor, small and pitiful. So, what's the point? With all the working and stress of this time that has come to eclipse all other aspects of life, the joy of experiencing the world and making life fruitful gets left out. Modernists ask, 'Why is life merely a race to death?' That is the question. Everyone dies, and so it is every person's duty to throw of the duties of society and follow the self. Kafka's message: Do not spectate, participate. Do not follow, lead. Do not exist, live.

Nice to Eat (with) You: Blog Post #29

The constant interplays between characters in literature is amazing. Writers and authors use so many different tools in order to convey relationships, but the most prevalent and realistic is communion at the dinner table. Sharing food is almost sacred, and shows a bond much different and much more deeply rooted than a bond, say, of acquaintance. Foster says, "We're quite particular about those with whom we break bread ... The act of taking food into our bodies is so personal that we really only want to do it with people we're very comfortable with" (Foster 8). This relates to Kafka's Metamorphosis, as the family will not eat with Gregor, and closes Gregor's door as a more material act of separation. The family, despite supposedly loving and caring for Gregor, do not appreciate his company. Communion is a very important idea to a people, and throughout history it has accomplished amazing things in the form of nationalism. As a show of what I've learned in my history class, communion has succeeded in establishing the United States even when facing the world's most formidable military. It has won independence for India with no war fought. The sense of community achieved through communion, and chiefly eating as a group, is very powerful. Even Foster says, "... a meal scene is so difficult, and so inherently uninteresting, that there really needs to be some compelling reason to include one in the story" (Foster 8). Eating is just eating, but it also so much more and can lead to great things, as well as hide deeper meanings in a story.

As eating in communion is sharing and peaceful, vampirism is exactly the opposite. It is malicious and selfish. As one gets weaker, the other gains strength. But contrary to common belief, vampires don't have to be the scary creatures in stories. They can be anyone, any leech to society or another being. "... exploitation in its many forms. Using other people to get what we want. Denying someone else's right to live in the face of our overwhelming demands. Placing our desires, particularly our uglier ones, above the needs of another" (Foster 21). This directly relates to The Metamorphosis, as Gregor is the subject, and his family is the vampire. They use him to pay off their debt, and this work sucks the life out of him and eventually kills Gregor, leaving the family stronger and more self-sufficient than ever before. Foster also talks about the target of vampires, specifically Dracula, in this piece, and it can also pertain to The Metamorphosis. "Always, he's alluring, dangerous, mysterious, and he tends to focus on beautiful, unmarried women" (Foster 16). This correlates to Kafka's work because vampires target the young and vital, as they are probably the most viable source of life, sustenance for vampires. Gregor is the family's first victim, and he is killed. But near the end, it is impossible to miss the change in language used to talk about Grete. It is unmistakably of desire or lust, as if she is the family's next victim...

Blog Post #28: ***Excused for Absence***

Metamorphosis Reflective Paragraphs

Throughout Kafka's The Metamorphosis, Gregor seems very conflicted on the inside. He is very indecisive at the beginning and then as the story progresses he thinks either loves or complains about his family. "...he told himself again that he could not possibly remain in bed and that it might be the most reasonable thing to sacrifice everything if there was even the slightest hope of getting himself out of bed in the process. At the same moment, however, he did not forget to remind himself from time to time of the fact that calm—indeed the calmest—reflection might be much better than confused decisions" (Kafka 3). This indecisiveness shows that he makes small decisions much larger then necessary, and alludes to the fact that he is not really a go-getter. This is extended when he thinks to himself how he wants to quit and tell off his boss, but he probably won't because he will talk himself out of it. This, though, shows that Gregor is still thinking like himself, at a human level. This will change later on, as his condition progresses. Another example of his early internal conflictions is near the same time, when he is trying to rock himself off his bed. "...and very soon he would finally have to make a final decision, for in five minutes it would be a quarter past seven. Then there was a ring at the door of the apartment. 'That’s someone from the office,' he told himself..." (Kafka 3). He is constantly coming up with excuses not to make decisions, like the one to get himself off the bed. Earlier, he wasted time thinking about how two people could make the task a lot easier, when he knew his family could not help him at all. He spends much time rocking back and forth, and uses his manager from showing up as another excuse. He stops himself from progressing in life, is his own worst enemy. Near the end of the story, his internal conflictions are still present, but in a less sophisticated way. "Gregor hissed at all this, angry that no one thought about shutting the door and sparing him the sight of this commotion" (Kafka 20). "He remembered his family with deep feelings of love" (Kafka 24). Gregor 'flip-flops' multiple times in the later stages of his ailment, and is complaining about some grievance his family has caused, or contemplating his true love for them. This shows that the brain function has diminished significantly from a human's cognitive system. A coherent human could recognize that they really love their family, and get over the small afronts. But he is a bug and so lives in the moment, for his life is short. The battles Gregor has with himself is a very enlightened way to express the states of mind Gregor goes through during the story, and Kafka is an expert at using this.

A theme that is prevalent especially in Part II of The Metamorphosis is how Gregor wants to cling to his human past, but can't resist falling into bug-like habits. He even went through the arduous task of moving a chair to the window so he can look out at the world. "Then he crept up on the window sill and, braced on the chair, leaned against the window to look out, obviously with some memory or other of the liberating sense which looking out the window used to bring him in earlier times" (Kafka 13). He wants to reconnect with his human ways. Looking out the window is a very human thing to do, and Gregor wants to be human more than anything, so he makes himself feel more human by looking out the window. He also recognizes that his new habits are gross, and so wants something to prevent him from being like a bug. "And if the furniture prevented him from carrying out his senseless crawling about all over the place, then there was no harm in that, but rather a great benefit" (Kafka 15). His sister is pushing for Gregor to be more like a bug by giving him more space to creep around. But, Gregor wants to be human and, like his mother, wants the furniture there to remind him of his past and to restrict the bug from taking over completely. An important idea that could be added here is that the total bug nature of Gregor at the end is what makes the family want to "get rid of it." Grete endorsed the bug in Gregor, though, and so indirectly led herself to hate him. Probably Gregor's most radical attempt to hold onto his human life is when he covered the picture of the stranger to prevent it from being taken away by his mother and sister. "He quickly scurried up over it and pressed himself against the glass which held it in place and which made his hot abdomen feel good. At least this picture, which Gregor at the moment completely concealed, surely no one would now take away" (Kafka 16). This is radical for Gregor because he is very considerate most of the time to his family by covering himself up whenever they come in. The act of showing himself, and showing his ability to crawl on walls, is very surprising to the mother and sister, and overall terrifying. This act brings her mother to an asthma attack and starts the altercation with his father. And this was all for the picture of a stranger he cut out of a magazine. Kafka imbeds themes throughout the story and hints at them often. It is very interesting (for me) to seek these themes out and then recognize the hints as they come up, and this one, Gregor trying to hold onto humanity, is huge.

Gregor's Isolation: Metamorphosis

Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis tells the story of Gregor Samsa, a traveling salesman who lives with his family. Gregor is burdened with paying off his parents' debt while they do no work and don't help pay off the debt. This devotion to his family's problems is holding Gregor back from his dreams. "Once I’ve got together the money to pay off my parents’ debt to him—that should take another five or six years—I’ll do it for sure" (Kafka 2). Gregor's parents are holding him back from his one ambition. To take this one step further, Gregor is holding himself back from this ambition. He chooses to spend his life working long hours for years, and he uses his parents as an excuse to justify his lonely, miserable life. His life is also exemplified by the picture of a stranger in his room. "Above the table ...  hung the

picture which he had cut out of an illustrated magazine a little while ago and set in a pretty gilt frame. It was a picture of a woman with a fur hat and a fur boa" (Kafka 1). Usually, people place pictures of loved ones in their homes, and framed photos are almost never of strangers, as frames require more work than just paper. This tells the reader that he has no true loved ones, even his family, to frame. A life with no loved ones cannot be a very happy or fulfilling one, and Gregor's is no different.

Moving on to the central piece of plot in the story, Gregor gets turned into a bug, and yet does not react in any sort of hysterical or surprised manner. His reaction is subdued and lackadaisical, which is very different from a normal reaction to this situation. "'What’s happened to me,' he thought. It was no dream ... Gregor’s glance then turned to the window. The dreary weather—the rain drops were falling audibly down on the metal window ledge—made him quite melancholy"(Kafka 1). He acknowledges his change and then moves his attention to the weather and then later  his work, as if that's the more pressing matter at the time. This mundane response is strange, and must mean that he cares more about his obligations than himself. He constantly thinks about how his family will be worried about him and how his boss will inquire on his whereabouts, showing how many people or dependent on him. His entire family knocks on his doors at different times to check in on him and his manager eventually comes as well to see why he isn't working (Kafka 3-4, 7). This can be interpreted multiple ways. The first is that many people rely on him to do his work and take care of them. Gregor is then seen as selfless and noble. Contrastingly, this dependence can also be seen as his family and employer taking advantage of him. Then Gregor is seen as pitiable and a servant to his loved ones. Either way he cares more about his duty than his livelihood.

Dante's Inferno vs. What Dream May Come -- (BP #26)

After watching What Dreams May Come, it is hard not to recognize the parallels from the movie to Dante's book, Inferno. There are indeed many of these parallels, including the impetus, or motivation, of the journey itself. In Inferno, Dante has undertaken this perilous journey through the most terrible of places because Beatrice is in Paradiso, and he emotionally needs to join her. In the movie, Chris journeys to hell for his love, as well. Annie is stuck in hell and he needs to rescue her and take her back to heaven. These goals by both the heroes is noticeably similar, and is a red flag to how these two pieces relate.

Another similarity between the book and the movie is the guides both protagonists have at their disposal during their time in the world of the afterlife. Chris has multiple, but all three serve the same purpose, as well as Virgil in the Inferno. These guides tell the main characters how every place they go works. 'Doc' and Leona tell Chris how heaven works, and the Tracker tells how hell works, and guides him to the different levels, and eventually to Annie's level. Virgil does the same thing; he guides Dante down through the levels of hell and brings with him wisdom and knowledge.

Franz Kafka Research (BP #27)

Franz Kafka was born in Prague, on July 3rd, 1883. He was born to Hermann and Julie, who resided in the middle class at the time, and who were Jewish. Hermann had been a traveling salesman and eventually brought the family to Prague, where he opened a retail business. Franz was the eldest of six children; there were three boys and three girls. Franz's two younger brothers died in infancy. He had a lonely home life, as his parents were out of the house most days working at the family business. He consequently had a series of governesses and a difficult relationship with his father.

Kafka, after receiving good grades from his lower schools, went on to the German Charles-Ferdinand University of Prague in 1901. He started to study chemistry, but switched to law after two weeks, because a law degree offered many career options, which his father liked. During his time at the college, he took language courses and joined a literary club of students. Literature and writing took hold of him from that moment on. After serving his obligatory year of work under an aggressive Italian insurance company, he found a job with less strict hours to focus on his writing. He later got married to Felice Bauer, and diagnosed with Tuberculosis, which ultimately killed him.

He was influenced by many people. It starts with his father, with whom he had a difficult and complicated relationship. Hermann undoubtedly influenced Franz's writing and he even wrote Letters to His Father, which goes in depth on their relationship. At the university Kafka much liked reading the works of Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Flaubert, Franz Grillparzer, and Heinrich von Kleist, whom he considered his true brothers. He also was very fond of the works of Goethe. He has influenced the world after him in a unique way. People rarely quote Kafka, but instead cite his ideas and perspectives.

Franz died on June 3rd, 1924. His tuberculosis had worsened and he returned from Berlin to Prague and his family. He eventually went to a treatment facility in Vienna where he died. He was buried in Prague in a Jewish cemetery. It is generally agreed upon that Kafka also suffered from other ailments, such as depression, anxiety, insomnia, and migraines, which may have had an affect on his tragically short life. His legacy lives on through the admirers of great works, of which his are.

Works Cited

"Franz Kafka Biography." A Short Biography of Franz Kafka. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Mar. 2014. <http://www.kafka-online.info/franz-kafka-biography.htm>.

"Franz Kafka." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 15 Mar. 2014. Web. 17 Mar. 2014. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franz_Kafka>.

"Kafka's Life (1883-1924)." The Kafka Project. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Mar. 2014. <http://www.kafka.org/index.php?biography>.

Blog #25: Week Reflection Mar. 3-7

This week was all presentations! I had no stress whatsoever this week in LA, since I went the previous Friday. This felt really good and allowed me to catch up in other classes at home. The presentations have continued to be very good and I have enjoyed them very much. One in particular was Noah's. His visual was very entertaining and extremely creative. First of all, his canto was about the liars or deceptors sent to hell. These people are two-faced in hell because they say they are one thing, but turn out to be completely different. So for his visual, he brought in a piñata that was burned on one side, to represent the two faces of the sinners. Also, during his presentation, he told the class there was candy in the piñata like there should be, but when it was opened there were vegetables instead. This was really mean in the moment but was a great interactive representation of his canto.

All the others were good, too, but as I had feared, they do get quite repetitive. It is hard to stay interested just because we haven't read the whole Inferno through. We only had our canto and stuck to it. This isolation, for me, made the others less interesting. One I thought was interesting, though, was Canto 20, which Garyn presented on. This canto was about the diviners, and was interesting to me because diviners have been very influential in early history, yet Dante puts them in Hell. It is just interesting to see how Dante thinks about certain people and apply the punishments to his time to make more sense of the book itself. I thought this unit was pretty interesting and it combined Campbell's hero's cycle with Aristotle's tragic hero.

Blog #24: Week Reflection Feb. 24-28

Last week was a little hectic for me. I had gotten a slow start to my Dante project due to a mini-vacation to Stanford University, and it definitely did not help to have one of the earlier cantos. But I worked hard! I got things done in class and used my time at home effectively, as well. When I finally presented  on Friday, I thought I had a very good piece of work and I was proud of it. Although it was stressful to complete the project in a seemingly short amount of time, I am very happy now that I was in an early slot in our lineup. This is because now I get to relax and watch my classmates' amazing projects, with no worries.

I thought the presentations on Thursday and Friday last week were very good. The thing that stood out most to me was the visual presentations, because they were stupidly good. It was definitely humbling to my artistic ability, as if I had any in the first place, and frankly, it made me feel a little worse about my own visual. The pit bull behind bars was so amazing, it brought a small, barely noticeable tear to my eyes. And the city street made in digital art and its incredible details, astounded and befuddled me. I look forward to seeing more of these, but I worry about the repetitiveness of the presentations, and if I will be able to stay engaged, as my peers deserve.

Blog Post #23: Week of Feb. 10-14 Reflection

Last week, we swiftly wrapped up our tragic hero unit with our poster presentations. These went very well and they were very interesting and well done. I particularly liked the Alex Supertramp poster from the movie Into the Wild. This group did a great job of decorating their poster and adding symbols and meaningful items. For example, they wrote the hero's name in twigs, and had flowers around this. These items make the audience feel the wildness of the movie and lack of society that is the premise. I liked these presentations and I think they helped me get a very firm grasp of the topic that I would not have gained unless exposed to this many examples.

On Thursday, we shifted gears and focused on another very dark topic: hell. We will be studying Dante in the following weeks and his in depth description of the nine levels of hell. This includes who can be placed there, and what punishments are included in the package. Looking at a map of Dante's Inferno, some of the punishments are very gruesome and terrifying. For example, I would hate to have to live eternally in a pit of boiling tar and pitch, with flying demons hooking me with sharp barbs. This will be an interesting topic and although it is very dark, I hope to gain something out of it, as I'm sure I will.

Blog Post #21: Personal Hell

The first question on the assignment page is: What is hell? Before I can answer this, there are many interpretations I can take. The first is the hypothetical idea of hell that is traditionally thought of in the Christian faith. This direction leads me to think of it as a fire-filled place underneath the Earth where every second is agony and torturous. The devil roams and instills fear and pain in unimaginable magnitudes. My personal hell leads my onto a completely different thought line. While equally as torturous, my hell has no fire or devil. It is bare and enclosed, with no one around and no noise. I am pitifully alone and hate every second of it. Meanwhile, a sideshow in my head instills fear into my mind with memories of all the pain I have gone through, to make me feel it all over again. I become very vain in my hell, and I can't help but think that there are others that think bad things of me, and consequently make me feel terrible. This mental torture seems to have no escape or reprieve.

1. My hell is a punishment, as could be expected. It is a punishment for the bad things I have done or not done. My hell can come at any point, really, and is not restricted to the afterlife or any such thing. Whenever I feel really bad about something I can sink to hell, and it is awful. This is usually a result of self-criticism, and an I-hate-myself felling. These feelings are not merited but yet something in me brings about this personal hell.

2. The punishments of my hell are many different methods of mental torture. In my hell, the mental aspect of life trumps the physical aspect, and so no cuts, bruises, or breaks befall me. I am tortured by my own mind, telling me that I am worthless and pointing out all my flaws. And I believe it for some reason. My mind resembles that of a dreaming mind, where anything that comes along, inextricable as it may be, is not only believable, but completely accepted as fact. All my mistakes are flashed on the walls of the box I am trapped in as some kind of subliminal messaging, and its purpose is to convince me of my infinite inferiority.

3. My hell is white, and lonely. It may be one of those cells used in insane asylums. The ones with padded walls and no windows. This means there is no emotion going out to others, which I believe is the reason for emotions in the first place. It is all coming back to me, and they are negative in nature, wearing my defenses down and making me unstable, and insane. Pictures and scenes are displayed on the walls as in a slideshow presentation, but there is no projector. These scenes tear at me with their sharp claws of self-deprecation, giving me no rest or rescue.

4. There seems to be no end to my hell. There is no escape, at least for me. But that is the point of a personal hell. It is meant to be the worst-case scenario, the most terrible situation imaginable by that specific person. If someone else were placed in my hell, that person might have a chance of escaping, by denying the attempts of the pictures to gnaw at his or her mental stability. I don't think any one's personal hell should be escapable, and if it is, it is not their true hell.

5. A symbol for my hell could be a straightjacket. I am restrained in my hell and have to take whatever it throws at me. I can't get out of it and, although not claustrophobic in the real world, I freak out in my hell trying to get free. But these attempts are futile. Everything is futile in hell. The idea of being restrained or having no options generally scares me, and the straightjacket would be perfect to terrify me in my hell.

6. Absolutely no one is in my hell. That, for me, is worse than having a devil or person I dislike. There may be ghosts or ethereal wisps of people I love, though. This is because they are not really there but they would be noticeable and torturing. I would more than anything want to talk to them, or to hug them, but it would be impossible. Humans were made to group together and form communities, as we have been doing for all of time, so being alone goes against human nature and is complete misery. That is why it is intrinsic to my hell.

Blog Post #20: Reflection on Week of Feb. 3-7

Unfortunately, I was terribly sick four of the five days this past week, and was not able to join my classmates in 7th period LA. I know, though, that we worked on our tragic hero posters most of the time. I was in school on plan day so I am excited about our poster and I think it will turn out quite well. We have incorporated many of the many symbols from the movie into our poster. We have the name of our hero written in electricity, as this is the main attraction of the magician's act that leads him down his terrible path. We also have a ball that bounces down on our pictures that represents his tragic fall. This also signifies his tragic flaw, which is obsession, and jealousy.

The next step in this project is the inevitable presentation. We started this on Friday and will continue this week. I am not all that concerned with this part of the assignment because I enjoy relaying my knowledge and explaining something others may not know. This was a really cool and interesting movie (The Prestige) and I have a want to present so that others may become interested in it as well. I have enjoyed the presentations so far and, like I wish to do, I have become interested in some of the films and will now seek to watch them. All the posters look very well-done an artistic. I think our class worked very hard on these projects and it looks as though our work has paid off.

Reflection Week of Jan. 27-31: Post #19

This passed week we were introduced to the classifications of Aristotelian tragedy, and then moved on to our projects with an example of a tragic hero. The first two days we were tasked to listening and paying attention. We listened to Aristotle's calculated break-down of every part of a tragedy, and then watched gloomily a mash-up of all the terrible parts of the Titanic, bringing the class to an unhealthy state of depression. But nevertheless, this mash-up breezed over all the intrinsic aspects of a tragedy in a condensed amount of time so that they cemented into my mind very effectively. This is important because we were then assigned the project, where we have to mash-up the intrinsic properties of a tragedy of our choice not in a video, but a poster.

The two days we had dedicated for projects were very fruitful. I feel like my group were smart and planned most everything out before we even got the black sheet that would be our final canvas. I am excited to see how it turns out in the end because we have a very good idea and many powerful symbols that relate effectively to our film, The Prestige. This film is definitely a tragedy and throughout the entire two hour 15 minute span, the audience does not know who to root for or who is the "good guy" or the bad guy. It is a very interesting, brilliant movie, and I hope to capture its essence in my final poster.

Week of Jan. 20 - 24 Reflection: Post # 18

This passed week, we were focused primarily on Oedipus Rex. It was a relatively boring week, as we read silently in class on Monday and Tuesday. The tragic play opened my eyes a bit, and made me think of the intricacies of life and fate. Oedipus, throughout the play, tried so hard to avoid his inevitable fate, yet what he thought was right only led him straight into his worst nightmare. This exemplifies the fact that every small decision affects the life of not only yourself, but many around you as well. Applying this revelation to my life, it made me take decisions much more seriously than I ever had before. Even when I returned home I contemplated the choice of drink I would get, weighing the pros and cons and long-term consequences each choice might have. The play also told the audience that fate was predetermined, and there was no escaping it. In the modern world, this is not widely accepted, and I do not believe in this as well. I do believe that my decisions have a long-term effect on my life, though, and now I won't trivialize any decisions any longer.

On Friday, we had finished the play and we moved on to our eventual project on this subject matter. Our amazing and loving teacher Mrs. Cawlfield spent the day talking to the attentive and sponge-like minds of the students about Aristotelian tragedies and what defines a tragic hero specifically. As sponge-like minds do, we absorbed every word she was saying and might have even taken diligent notes. We would do this because we have to come up with a perfect example of a tragic hero from a film and apply it to the Aristotelian model while also comparing it to the character of Oedipus. I assume we will do incredible work with absolutely no flaws whatsoever and all get amazingly great grades. We will work on this project this week and it's probably going to suck. But maybe not!!

Week Reflection: Post #17

This week, we unfortunately had to wake up from our honeymoon period of returning to school after our long, cushy break. We finished the transcendent movie Baraka, and wrote a reflective mini-essay on it. The film was very intriguing and imaginative, breaking the mold of what humans think about this world. Personally, it changed my views quite a bit, and showed me the immense range of humans and cultures we have on Earth. The ignorance of this fact, though, is what the filmmakers were trying to get across. They were saying how the metropolitan areas of the world of today have lost any decency or compassion it once had, and this has been replaced by cruelty and war.
Following the movie, we quickly transitioned into our new topic, the tragic play Oedipus Rex, by Sophocles. We were forced to do a good amount of research that surrounds this topic, and although it was very arduous and overall annoying, I do believe it allowed for a more smooth reading experience and greater understanding of the play. At the end of the week, we started actually reading the play, after days of anticipation and research. I have enjoyed it so far, and can definitely feel the dramatic irony forced upon the readers by Sophocles. I look forward to reading it more and hopefully it doesn't end in tragedy... :) I'm not too confident with that, though...

Oedipus Rex Background Information -- Post #16

Oedipus Rex
Man:
The myth of Oedipus is ancient, and has been passed along for thousands of years. After this long, it is impossible to tell is Oedipus ever actually lived, or if his story is simply myth. If it was just a myth, it was probably told to stress the power of the gods and the Fates. The Fates made it so no one could ever run away from their destiny, and Oedipus tried to, but ended up falling right into their "trap."

Play:
The play Oedipus Rex, written by Sophocles, takes place completely after the myth. Oedipus has been married to his mother for 20 years and is ruling over his city. He has some kids with his mother, as well. As I have not read the play, I cannot discuss plot as of yet, but I look forward to reading it.

Myth:
Oedipus was the son of the king and queen of Thebes. He was given a prophecy that he would kill his father and marry his mother, so the king gives the baby to a poor man who is to dispose of the infant, but he takes pity on it and simply sends it to the neighboring city of Corinth, where the king and queen there take Oedipus in as their own. Once Oedipus becomes a young man, he hears his prophecy again and runs away from Corinth, trying to spare his adoptive parents. He encounters a man, his father, on the road to Thebes and kills him over an altercation, and then kills the dragon attacking Thebes, for which his prize is the widowed queen, his mother.

Sophocles
Sophocles was born in 496 BCE in Colonus, a village outside of Athens. He was very successful and skilled. He had a warrior's physique and was very good with war, music and poetry. He was very tied to Athens, serving as one of the commanders of the armed forces, and later as a financial consultant.

Aristotle
Aristotle is the last of the three Greek Philosophers, the other two being Socrates and Plato. He is said to have written 150 treatises in his 62-year life from 384-322 BCE. He had a great education and went to study under Plato when he was about 17, and was a brilliant student there. He made huge contributions to modern science by studying natural phenomena like earthquakes.

Tragedy:
Aristotle studies many topics, including the arts, and plays. He classified the type of play known as tragedy, and laid out specific things that always occur within these kinds of plays. He says that the order of events, the plot, must be complete with a beginning middle and end and a good cast of characters to support the different aspects of the plot (fear, joy, pity, drama, etc.) He also says the protagonist should be in the upper class and prosperous in order for his fall from grace to be more obviously and sad.

Aristotle's ideal plot structure. Copied by Freytag centuries later.

Hubris:
Hubris is the extreme pride or arrogance of a person. It is a greek word used a lot in greek tragedies, as hubris, according to Aristotle, is a hero's biggest flaw. He also says that it will get the hero killed and/or lead to his ultimate demise. Furthermore, this is how Aristotle classifies a tragic hero, because all tragic heroes have this deadly flaw.

Dramatic Irony
Dramatic Irony is a popular use of plot in tragedies, as in Romeo and Juliet. This idea occurs when the audience is aware of something important that one or more characters do not. This is supposed to fill the audience with anxiety, fear and frustration as the play progresses. This technique originated in Greece, and is very old and very effective.

Tiresias
Tiresias was a child of a man and a nymph, in Greek mythology. He served as a prophet of Apollo in Thebes for seven generations. He has many misadventures with the gods, including getting turned into a women for several years by Hera, and getting blinded by Athena. He also is featured in Oedipus Rex when he is called to give information about the king's killer.

Fate
In Ancient Greece, fate played a huge role in everyone's lives. They believed that their fate was set and it was unavoidable, yet many characters throughout Greece's history attempted to do so, and failed. This include Oedipus, when he runs away from his fake parents and runs right into his real parents where he fulfills his fate. Greeks had gods/spirits that determine the fates of people aptly called The Fates, who controlled the lives of people to an extent and cutting a string at the end of one's life.

Greek Theater
In Ancient Greece, plays were preformed in an amphitheater outdoors. They were designed very well and spectators in the very back row could here as well as the front-row viewers, without the use of microphones or any amplifier whatsoever. Performances were a public event, and everyone was allowed to see the plays. Many of the plays of the time were about myth and religion, teaching the powers of the gods and teaching of human flaws and tragic heroes, like Oedipus.